Toriel's Sins
by 348joey
Summary: Sometimes we project our insecurities onto those we dislike.


Alphys was on his way to Toriel and Frisk's home with a package. He smiles as he reflects on how fitting this is. Frisk had played delivery boy to him in the Underground, and now he was returning the favor. Although, this was more for Toriel than Frisk, but he hoped that they would both like it anyway.

It was a fine day outside. Not too cold, though still not as warm as the cold-blooded lizard would have liked. It was tolerable enough though.

It had been two months since the barrier had broken. Monsters were free and things were going surprisingly well. Many monsters (including him) were worried that the humans might not be very accepting of them when they returned to the surface, but it seemed that much of humanity itself had learned quite a bit since the time of their ancestors. Monsters were granted the same legal rights and citizenship as humans after only a short amount of diplomatic negotiation. Of course, there were some countries that had yet to accept their kind, for lack of understanding or simple fear who can really say, but most were very welcoming. All in all, things were going well for monsters. Well… most monsters… While Asgore was happier now than he had been in centuries, there was still much weighing him down.

Alphys was one of the only people Asgore had kept in contact with after Toriel left him. In truth, he was the only friend Asgore really had left. Gerson had long ago left his cort and Undyne wasn't really one to chat with about such things. Alphys knew what he was going through. It was bad enough that Asgore had to kill the humans that fell into the Underground to take their souls, but based on the glazed look Asgore got upon seeing their bloodied bodies on the floor, the sight of dying children also caused him horrific flashbacks.

Part of why he went through such great lengths to try to convince the humans to stay in the Underground was so Asgore wouldn't be forced to kill another child. The lizard had desperately wanted to SAVE his King and friend from having to relive the death of his children again.

Alphys arrived at the former queen's house and knocked on the door. Frisk was visiting Sans & Papyrus at that time and wouldn't be back for a few more hours yet. Toriel answered the door and smiled at the lizard monster. "Good afternoon, Alphys! What brings you here today?"

Alphys smiled and replied, "I have a small gift for you and Frisk. Do you mind if I come in?"

Toriel laughed and replied, "Of course not! Do come in!"

Alphys thanked her and followed her inside. The house was quite similar to her old home in the Ruins, though quite a bit bigger. He wasn't sure if Toriel just liked the design that much, liked the nostalgia the layout brought her, or if she was just as uncreative as Asgore was. Perhaps it was some combination of the three.

Toriel and Alphys sat down in the kitchen/dining room. Toriel offered Alphys some tea, which he accepted. After a brief bit of small talk over tea, Alphys gave Toriel the package. It was a small white pouch tied with a tiny string. "They're golden flower seeds," he explained.

Toriel looked pleased. "Why thank you Alphys. I had been meaning to plant some of these in our garden, but I never seemed to have the time to try to find the seeds. Golden Flower Tea is one of Frisk's favorites."

Here came the awkward part. "It's not actually from me. It's from Asgore. I'm just delivering it on his behalf." In truth, Asgore had been afraid that if he simply mailed the gift to Toriel himself, she'd burn it with her fire magic immediately upon its arrival. Alphys was inclined to agree with him on that.

" _Oh…_ " Toriel did little to hide the disgust in her voice. Alphys certainly didn't appreciate the way she was treating his old friend.

"What do you have against him anyway?" Alphys believed that he more-or-less knew the reason already, but he wanted to be sure.

Toriel scoffed, "He is a coward of a man. He could have crossed the barrier with only one soul, but he instead hid away and hoped that the next soul wouldn't fall."

"You seemed to have really cared about those other six children. I know you've adopted Frisk, but what was your relationship with the others?"

"They were as much my children as Frisk is, and Asgore murdered them all."

"To be fair, most of the monsters in the Underground tried to kill Frisk. I don't think Asgore is solely to blame here," Alphys said, trying to hint at something more.

Toriel replied, "It was still his decree that put them in danger to begin with. The people were only doing what they believed they had to."

Alphys was slightly irked by how Toriel still hadn't caught on to what he was implying. He continued, "One could say the same thing about Asgore. He only did what he had to in order to bring hope to the Underground."

"That does not excuse him for what he's done!" Toriel was getting a little worked-up over this.

"True, but he has at least been trying to make amends since then. He forgave you, after all."

At that, Toriel's expression was a mix between astonishment and rage, **"** _ **He**_ **forgave** _ **me**_ **?!"**

Alphys finally had enough. This woman has caused his friend so much anguish over the years. She needs to know of her sins. He began, "Asgore **never** wanted to hurt those human children. That's the whole reason he tasked me with finding another way out of the Underground. He was desperate for any alternative. Asgore acted only out of duty. It was his responsibility to his people that kept him going. But that brings me to my next point."

Alphys took on a dark expression as he looked Toriel in the eye and said, **" s."**

He continued, "When the Underground fell into despair at the death of your children, he did the only thing he could think of to return hope to them. Despite recently witnessing _the death of his children_ , he still fulfilled his duty to his people."

Alphys's eyes narrowed at Toriel, " **You** on the other hand…"

"You abandoned your responsibilities as Queen and a wife, thus forcing Asgore to fend for himself. You left your husband during the time he most needed you. You shed yourself of guilt by telling yourself that you were only disgusted by Asgore's actions and not just running away from your duties. And you called _him_ a coward."

It probably wasn't a good idea for him to insult the former queen, even if she was retired from the position, but he's gone this far already, so he might as well finish what he had to say. "If you had cared only about protecting the humans, you could've stayed with Asgore and convinced him to use another plan. But that was the problem, wasn't it? You didn't have a better plan. You knew that this had to be done, but you still didn't want to feel responsible for it. You fled like a coward, leaving your home, family, and people, but it doesn't end there."

Alphys took a breath before continuing.

"You say it was wrong for Asgore to kill those children? Fine, that's true, but what about throwing your children into a world filled with creatures that all want to kill them, a world they can't escape without themselves killing Asgore? I'll grant you that you probably weren't hoping that they'd actually do it, as you don't seem to be such a vile person that you'd wish death on someone you claimed to have once loved. You probably just didn't want to think about it too much. However, if you really wanted to protect those children, you could have escorted them through the entire Underground yourself. You'd have the authority to force any monster to stand down from attacking the human. You could've ensured that they got to the barrier without a scratch. You could've even convinced Asgore not to fight them and instead try to talk out an alternative to get to the surface. Hell, that man probably would've just given Frisk his soul just from you asking. But you were too afraid to face your past. You instead asked some skeletal monster you've never met face-to-face to watch the human for you. Once again, you wouldn't uphold your responsibilities, not only as Queen and a wife, but also as a mother."

"…"

Alphys stopped. He and Toriel were silent for a few moments until realization dawned on him, and he said in a much calmer voice, "We're both hypocrites, aren't we? I tell you how it's wrong to project your own insecurities on someone else, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I failed with my experiments with determination, and I hid the truth away from everyone. Instead of facing the consequences for my actions, I holded myself up in my lab and cut communication off from everyone. I even invented a giant lie about a 'killer robot' just so I could live out my self-insert fanfiction about the human's journey. Even though Frisk was never in any real danger with it, it was still wrong for me to make them think their life was on the line. In the end, Mettaton almost killed Frisk after he went rouge. I still can't believe he rearranged the core and hired mercenaries to kill the child. But if it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to do all that in the first place, so I'm still partially responsible for his actions."

Alphys smiled somewhat sadly at his next thought, "I guess Frisk really brought out the best in both of us. You left the Ruins, and I told everyone the truth. The only problem is that, while you left the Ruins physically, you're still holed up in there on the inside. You need to forgive yourself for what you did. The only way to move past this is to recognize the guilt you have and stop blaming Asgore for it. I've had help moving past what I did; maybe someone else can help you too. Go talk to Asgore. He can probably help you through this, since even if you stopped caring for him, he never stopped caring for you."

Toriel said nothing. She looked to be deep in thought. Alphys decided it was time he left. As he made his way to the door, Toriel broke the silence with "Alphys?"

The lizard turned back to her. "Yes?"

"I don't think I stopped caring for him either."

Alphys smiled. "I know." He paused a moment to think, then continued, "But he doesn't. I suggest you remedy that."

"I—I'll think about it."

Alphys then turned back and exited the home. He hoped things would work out between Asgore and Toriel. He missed seeing his old friend truely happy.

Months later, golden flowers could be seen growing in Toriel's garden.


End file.
